Chinese dining traditions go back thousands of years. The elaborate customs are an interesting mixture of practicality, superstition and social inertia. Westerners aren’t expected to know the details but, as with learning a bit of the local language, it always helps. Following them will make for an enjoyable new experience and bring pleasure to a gracious host.

Chinese dining etiquette specifies how the participants are seated and when. Customs dictate when diners eat or drink and how. They even state who should leave in what order. But far from being a grim affair, a Chinese meal entails reveling in the pleasure of fine food and active conversation.

At many Chinese meals there is a guest of honor. Even when the occasion is far from any sort of official function or special celebration, one diner may be the focus of the event. That person is placed opposite the host, who is at the ‘head’ of the table.

When the event doesn’t call for an honored guest, there is still a social hierarchy that is recognized and followed. The most respected diner, often the father or the eldest male, is seated first. As he plays host to others he will serve guests, which is not considered a servile role.

The host eats or drinks first, but he will pay careful attention to his guests’ comfort and pleasure. He’ll ensure that their tea cup is filled and their palette satisfied. A good guest in turn will sample each dish offered and show open appreciation for the fine dishes prepared.

When at a table where there is no ‘head’ a good diner will serve another before himself. Dishes containing food are placed in the center of the table so that each option is available to all. The dishes are left there and food moved to a diner’s plate. It is impolite to move a serving dish to one’s one plate and shovel food onto it, then replace the dish. Unlike Western culture, however, it is not considered impolite to reach across another diner to get to the serving dish.

Guests will please their host if they have a second helping, though the final result should leave some food on the plate. A host may be saddened if the guest cleans the plate bare, since this is a sign that not enough food was provided. Likewise, it is inappropriate to take the last of any food from the center.

Using chopsticks is becoming more and more optional, but in a traditional Chinese meal it is de rigueur. Diners unfamiliar or unpracticed with Chinese chopsticks (which differ slightly from their Japanese cousins) can quickly come up to speed. A knowledge of the proper technique and a little practice will soon make them proficient. Remember never to place them upright into a bowl of rice, since this resembles incense sticks burned after a dear one has departed this life.

Following dining customs won’t bring about world peace and violating them won’t lead to major upheavals. But an attention to traditional mores can lead to a pleasantly different experience and bring a smile to a grateful host.

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